It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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