i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
