is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
