you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
