Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
