my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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