just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize