none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
