I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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