Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
