Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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