im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
