Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
