Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Randomize
