she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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