Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
