I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
