He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
