i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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