...so i touched it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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