So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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