he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
