Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
