Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
