I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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