...so i touched it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
