You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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