At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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