i think i have two assholes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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