Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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