so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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