I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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