there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
