we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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