i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
