You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
