I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
