I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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