what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
