My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I said "one day" and that day is not today
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
