we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
