fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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