Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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