Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
