Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
