Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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