Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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