oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
