please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
