the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
