is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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