I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
