u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
