I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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