Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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