You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
