just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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