i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
