i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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