Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
