i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
