i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
