I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
